John Stanko

Max DuPree was quoted as saying, "Leaders don't inflict pain; they bear pain." I wish this was true, but too often leaders do inflict pain. When leaders misuse power, they can inflict much pain that can last for generations. That is why leadership training and preparation should be so crucial. Then why is it lacking in so many places? The thinking is that somehow leaders will lead and lead well because, well, they're leaders and smarter than most everyone else. This is a critical flaw in our concept of leadership. Leaders believe they will lead well just because they are leaders and people believe the same. The results of this flawed thinking have been, okay, I'll say it again, painful.

I have been thinking and teaching about leadership for a while and here are some random recent thoughts:

1. Leaders must be willing to go to prison for what they believe. I didn't say that leaders must go to prison, but they must be willing to go to prison for what they believe. Think of the great reformers and leaders and see if that isn't true. Martin Luther, Nelson Mandela, Vaclav Havel, the apostle Paul and Martin Luther King all spent time in prison. They went there because they confronted the power brokers of their day and thus had to paid a price for their leadership. What price are you willing to pay for your leadership? Leadership without cost is cheap but it costs much in long-run -- the cost of the pain an untrained or unprepared leader will cause.

2. Leaders must be willing to be criticized. If you lead, you are out front, in the public eye, and people will constantly evaluate what you do and say. Society doesn't build monuments to or name roads after great leaders until after they're gone. While they are here, they are subject to enormous scrutiny. Opponents can emerge from any and every walk of life. In some ways, however, critics can be a leader's friend, for they will force the leader to be clear about what he or she believes and why. Critics can actually sharpen a leader in ways that friends never could. Leaders who stifle or eliminate their critics are eventually going to cause pain because they become enamored with their own voice and power.

3. Leaders must be willing to accept their dark side. Every leader has a dark side. Without facing this dark side, they tend to impose or project that darkness on to others. The greater the strengths of a leader, the greater their weaknesses. I suppose this is another way of saying that leaders must accept that they aren't perfect and they aren't going to live forever. A leader needs to be held accountable for results and behavior as much and perhaps more than anyone else. Yet often, structures around the leader make them supreme and untouchable. This will lead to pain.

I want to be a leader who bears and doesn't inflict pain. This means that I must embrace the ongoing process of leadership training and development. Some of it I can create, but most of it comes with the territory. How about you? What are you doing to make sure you are the kind of leader that bears pain rather than inflicts pain?

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