John Stanko

Write A Book

My sister-in-law and editor is sponsoring a Webinar on October 22 on "How To Write a Book."  If you have considered writing, then you need to attend this event.  Check out her new site and register today.  Stop procrastinating and get to work! 

Provision Anxiety

I've been writing about different kinds of anxiety this week and how it can hinder your work and creativity.  There is another anxiety that will hinder your ability to create and that is anxiety about money.  How often I have had a good idea only to dismiss it a few minutes later because of provision anxiety -- where would I get the money to do that?  that won't make me any money, will it?  how will I feed my family?  It's just an idea but I tend to immediately start thinking about cash and, when I do, the idea generally flies away as quickly as a bird that had come to nest only to find a "beware of the cat" sign. 

This week I have been reflecting on the cloud that followed Israel in their wilderness wanderings.  This cloud led them by day and by night became a pillar of fire.  I had always thought this cloud was for guidance only.  When it moved, Israel moved and when it stayed, so did Israel.  That is part of what the cloud did.  Yet I never thought that the cloud was also there for protection.  There were millions of people and animals traveling in the scorching heat of the Middle Eastern desert, so the cloud had to protect them from all the elements.

What's more, God sent them manna to eat and water to drink in the desert.  God never had them learn how to exist in the desert by learning desert-survival tactics.  They never made peace with their surroundings. He was able to provide for and protect them in the harshest of conditions and He did it for 40 years. 

Now if God could do that for Israel, what can He do for you and me?  He certainly can't and won't do any less!  So why worry about provision?  God is capable of giving you whatever you need and He knows what you need before you ask.

I did not say that provision wasn't important, for often when I tell people to focus on the idea and not the money, they think I am ignoring their money needs.  I am not.  It's just that I know that provision anxiety can stop anyone in his or her tracks, even a seasoned and creative faith warrior.  You don't have to know who will publish your work or fund your business before you make plans to start and finish either.  You just have to allow the creativity to flow, free from the effects of anxiety.

What could you dream today if provision anxiety didn't butt in?  What plans could you make?  What could you create or begin to create?  I urge you to reflect more on God's ability to provide even in a desert and then apply what you learn to your own situation.  Oops, gotta go.  That idea bird that flew away earlier just came back and this time I want to welcome her along with the creative ideas that she brings. Have a good time creating!

Feel free to respond to these entries on the site where they are posted. 

Perfectionistic Anxiety

Quiz question:  How many ways are there
to receive change for one US dollar bill?

1)  47       2) 293        3) 63        4) 176        5) 117          (answer later)

I have been writing about anxiety and its role in blocking creativity the last few days.  Have you made any progress on identifying where anxiety is hindering you?  Part of my anxiety in creating is that I am a perfectionist.  I want what I do to be good. No, I take that back.  I want what I do to be great.  No, that's not quite right either.  I want what I do to be perfect!  Yes, that's it.  I just don't want the right way; I want the perfect way, the best way in the universe, no the galaxy, no in God's creation.  I think you get the point.

I will wait to start something until I have a reasonable assurance that what I do will be perfect, or I will wait to start until I have a deadline to meet ("It wasn't my fault that it isn't perfect; I didn't have enough time), or I won't ever start at all because I am not sure what the perfect creation would be or how to produce it.

Just this week I have put off writing and doing simple things because I was afraid (no, not shaking in my shoes fear, but just fearful enough) what I would do or write would not be the best.  I put something off until tomorrow just in case there was something I wasn't seeing that would prevent me from doing the perfect thing, whether it be an email, a phone call or the foreword to someone's book. 

Often there is not just one road to a certain destination, there are a few.  Now usually one route is the fastest route and that is one I should always take, correct?  But what if there is a traffic jam on that "quickest" route?  Then the next fastest route becomes the best route to take.  But what if there are toll charges on that second fastest route and I don't have any money for the tolls?  Then I can take the third route because it is still faster then the traffic-snarled first option and cheaper than the second option.  But it's autumn and I want to see the pretty leaves changing colors on the way to my destination and that means I will take the fourth route, which is suddenly better than my other three options.

My point is that perfect is relative.  Sometimes you produce what you can with the time you have and that has to be good enough.  At times, you worked with what you knew at the time and, although less than perfect, you give yourself permission to do "good" work under the conditions.

The answer to the question at the top of the post is number two.  There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar bill.  What's the best way?  It depends on what you need and the available change that someone has to give you in return for your dollar.  I may need four quarters for parking, but someone may only have two quarters and five dimes.  Since there's no one else around to give me change, I don't agonize.  I say, "Give me the two you have.  It's good enough for now."

So is anxiety over the best way to do something got you stuck?  Then you have to talk yourself out of your dilemma by saying, "John, this isn't worth the time you are wasting on it.  Get started and adjust along the way.  You've done this before.  you can do it again."  Or "John, you know you are a perfectionist, so stop sweating the best way in the universe and get started on the best way you know of today."

Don't allow perfectionism to rob you and the world of the joys that your creativity can produce.  Face your fears, your inordinate desire for the perfect whatever, and get started today.  You'll be glad you did and your confidence will grow over time. By the way, anyone got change for a dollar?

More on Anxiety

I am sitting here doing some reading and research for a class project I have due by the end of September.  It is related to my dissertation or D Min project as it is called.  My project will be something that will address what I am calling a theology of productivity and creativity, which will be a program that churches can institute to teach members how to recognize and release their God-given ideas and purpose.

If anyone, including a Christian, is going to creatively produce, he or she must deal with the issue of anxiety, a topic which we began to address yesterday.  I am learning to deal with anxiety that keeps me from expressing my creativity and I see it all the time in many people.  Church people have a new repertoire of excuses that others can't use, excuses like, "I'm praying about it," "God hasn't released me to do that," "It's not God's timing," or "I don't want to get ahead of the Lord."  Some times these expressions may be based in fact, but others times they are a mask for anxiety and fear. 

Yesterday, I quoted from Eric Maisel's book, The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Person's Path through Depression.  Let's continue with the excerpt that I began in that last post:

When a creator does this frequently enough and lets his [or her] anxiety about creating stop him [or her] from creating, he [or she] begins to feel like a weak, indecisive person.  It is a very short step to even darker feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.  The end result of not knowing that he must brave his anxiety is that he ends up completely down on himself. Anxiety bests him and, to make matters worse, he then has to deal with the negative labels he pins on himself.  This classic vicious cycle, where anxiety leads to a battered self-image and a battered self-image makes it harder to brave anxiety, defeats many creators. 

Anxiety can debilitate any creator, even the most strong-willed and self-directing.  A fiercely independent-minded sculptor may mention with a laugh that some friends visited his studio and hated his new work. On the surface, it looks like he's shrugged their comments off.  Three weeks later, he complains of serious blockage.  Doubts about his talent now make him anxious, his anxiety causes him not to sculpt, but the "why" of this is completely unknown to him.  Anxiety has chalked up another victim.

Has anxiety claimed you as a victim?  I don't restrict the effects of anxiety to just the creative arts like writing or painting.  It can hinder your ability to start a business, take a missions trip, teach a class, or go back to school.  You can be so uptight about doing something wrong or doing it poorly that you don't do anything at all and "wait" upon the Lord. 

Anxiety and fear are closely related, if not synonymous, in the creative process.  So dealing with anxiety is like dealing with fear: you must face it to overcome it.  You must admit that you are anxious and identify the reasons why: fear of failure, fear of criticism, ignorance of how to start, not knowing how to finish.  You must not hide behind the Lord and disguise your anxiety as something other than what it is.

I currently have a proposal from my publisher to write a book on top of all the other writing and school work that I am already doing.  My anxiety tells me not to do it; my thinking is that I have done it before and can do it again, with God's help.  So what will I decide?  The ideal would be that someone would step forward and give me a study/writing grant to cover my needs while I create and write.  Whether or not that happens, I have already decided to work on the book while pursuing my studies and continuing my consulting and speaking work.  If I had not been studying anxiety, I'm not sure I would or could have made that decision. 

How does the issue of anxiety apply to your creativity right now?  What has you stuck in a non-productive or non-creative rut?  I urge you to discover what it is and then get going on what you have talked about doing for a short or long time.  Don't let anxiety rob you and the world any longer of the best you that you can be.  If I can help, let me know.

Anxiety

I have been doing a lot of study and reflection on anxiety and the role it plays in procrastination, something I wrote about a few weeks ago.  I was recently reading a book my sister-in-law recommended entitled The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Person's Path Through Depression.  The author Eric Maisel had this to say about anxiety:

When we perceive a threat, we get queasy, light headed, confused, agitated, fatigued, nervous.  We call these various reactions to a perceived threat by one name: anxiety.  Existence threatens us in a thousand ways and therefore, anxiety is our constant companion. . . . Writing a short story, say, is really only a small threat to our self-esteem since if we do a poor job, we can revise our story or write a better one.  But nature has decided that even these tiny threats must be taken seriously. As soon as we say, "I want to write a short story," waves of anxiety arise to keep us out of harm's way.

The net result is that we do not write the story and do not make any meaning.  Since we are not making meaning, depression strikes. The relationship between anxiety and depression, therefore, is direct and significant.  If existence merely troubled us but didn't rouse so much anxiety in us, if we could hold our painting or composing as hard but not threatening, we would have a far better chance of making meaning and avoiding depression.  If we heard ourselves say, "I don't want to paint because I don't find painting meaningful," we could reply instantly, "The heck with you, insidious thought! I'm off to the studio!" But because the thought is threatening and because Nature hates threats, we are bathed in anxiety and stopped in our tracks. . . .

If you don't write your nonfiction book, which you have every reason to write and which you have been talking about writing for years, it is unlikely that you will call your blockage a phobia and point to anxiety as the culprit. . . . Many of my clients I see complain of procrastination.  Instead of starting off a Sunday turning right into their creative efforts, first they write in their journal, then they read the newspaper, then they have a third cup of coffee, then they head out to the laundromat.  It turns out that they will do almost anything to ward off the anxiety they might feel if they said to themselves, "Time to create!" 

While at work, they tell themselves that they will get to their novel or their symphony as soon as they get home, or after dinner at the latest.  When they get home, they look at the ads that came in that day's mail, make dinner, do the dishes, and watch television until bedtime.  Anxiety steals away their evening.

Sound familiar?  Since I identified anxiety as one of my main creative culprits, I have found it easier to write my school papers, do my research for my dissertation and complete other creative tasks.  I am able to control my self-talk and say, "This is easy for me.  I can do this in no time at all.  It doesn't have to be perfect, but it will be the best I can produce!" 

What about you?  What role is anxiety playing in your lack of productivity and creativity?  What are you prepared to do about it?  More on anxiety later.  You have enough to think about based on what I wrote above. 

Self-Publishing

Part of my purpose wherever I go is to stir up other writers. I love to write and have published a few books, so I know what it's like to hold something you've created in your hand. It's a great feeling. I want others to share that feeling, so I encourage aspiring writers to write and not worry about the outcome. It is difficult (but not impossible) to find a publisher, but the best option for most writers starting out is to self-publish.

There are more online publishing options than ever before. I have used iUniverse on several occasions and I am currently using Dog Ear Publishing to publish a friend's book from South Africa. You can check out those options and see that you can publish for very little money and then order books only as you need them. That avoids investing large sums of money to maintain book inventory. You pay more for each book by publishing like that, so you make less for every book that you sell. It usually pays off, however, unless you anticipate selling a lot of books once you have them.

If you would like an example to inspire you to write, may I recommend two books that I helped edit that are offered through iUniverse. They're volumes of poetry by my brother-in-law, Ed Folino. Ed has a gift for rhyme that he toyed with all his life. Then at the age of sixty, he took the plunge to publish and now he has published two books. He is working on his third volume as I write. When you go to iUniverse, you can put in his book names -- My Pittsburgh and Long Time Coming -- and the volumes will come up for you to see. If you want to be inspired to publish your own book, you can order one or both of his books to see what the self-published finished product looks like. They are available in paper or you can download an e-copy. You will see the quality of the work and how Ed has taken his gift and put it out there for the world to see. I am proud of him and urge you to do the same with your own gifts.

If you would like to know more about self-publishing, there is a great book entitled, The Fine Print of Self-Publishing by Mark Levine. I would recommend you invest in it along with my sister-in-law's ebook on how to write a book that can be found on her site. The important thing is that you stop talking and start writing. Then it's important to see that publishing your long-awaited work is easier than you perhaps thought. If I can help or encourage you, please let me know

Technorati Tags: Self-publishing

Mess Yourself Up

Do you know who makes sure I write my books? Do you know who requires that I write for three blogs, produce magazine articles, or develop my weekly Bible studies?

The answer: No one!

Now you may say, "Well, what about the Lord?" Yes, God has put those ideas and concepts in my heart and He positions me to do those things. Yet there is no one who can force me to write. I must do it on my own. It all starts with embracing the fact that I am a writer.

For many years, I never knew how to fill out my entry form as I went into foreign lands. The form would invariably ask for "Occupation" and I would put down administrator, pastor, consultant or teacher. Then one day I put down "author" and something snapped into place. I am a writer! I had given myself permission to tell others and it was a major breakthrough. I had never been asked about what I do when I put down the other occupations. The first time I put down "author," the agent in the UK looked up at me and asked, "What do you write?" It proves the power of drawing attention and resources to yourself when you are honest about who you are and aren't.

So I am an author and authors write. So I started my blog and try to write one book every year. I have completed verse-by-verse Bible studies for 18 books in the New Testament, all ready and waiting to be published. Not wanting to wait until they are published, however, I send them out to 5,000 people free of charge every week.

I came across a prayer that I use in as a Pacific Institute facilitator and I thought I would share it with you today. It goes like this:

Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we have dreamed too little, when we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess, we have lost our thirst for the waters of life; having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity; and in our efforts to build a new earth, we have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love.

Have you become too pleased with yourself? Have you dreamed too little? Sailed too close to the shore? Ceased to dream of great things? If so, stir yourself up! Don't put off on God what only you can do. And don't underestimate your ability to ignore the Lord if you are relying on Him to stir you. It's time to mess yourself up . . . and then put youself back together in a more productive way.

Pray this prayer with me and then get to work. There are lives to be changed and worlds to be explored. There is no telling what can be done by people, like you, who aren't afraid of failing and who know how to disturb their world so that they can do more, see more and go to more places than they ever thought possible.

Catch Up

I've been down with the flu all week.  I've been able to work at my desk but not move around much.  I consider myself fortunate when I see how sick others have been with the same thing.  I cancelled all my appointments this week, and have worked at my desk on numerous projects, including my next book, The Local Church Worker's Survival Kit.  It's turning out to be a bigger project than I anticipated, because I have so much material and examples, along with so many things to say.  I've also spent a lot of time on the phone this week. 

At any rate, it's time to catch up on some good and purposeful news.

1. The first is a link to an article sent to me by my sister-in-law, Diana.  It's about a high school in Uganda that is flourishing because it is based on Christian principles. You can read that article here.  Go Uganda!
2. Then my friend Barbara sent me two things of interest.  I saw the one report she sent last Sunday on the news and it is the story of a young Venezuelan man (26 years old) who is now the music director of the Los Angeles Philharmonic.  It is a great story that points out the power of purpose.  You can watch that report here. 
3. Then I have another piece, thanks to Barbara, called Creativity Explored.  It is a 15-minute documentary on YouTube about artists with disabilities at an art gallery and studio called Creativity Explored in San Francisco.  You must watch this video here.  This video goes with my latest series in The Monday Memo on creativity.  Thanks, Barbara. You may have to start your own blog!
4. My publisher has connected me with Keith Carroll, an author coach, of extensive experience.  Keith's company offers all kinds of services to writers, including help with getting a manuscript published.  Keith also has a free email author coaching course that he will send to you upon request.  To check out his services, go to his website.
5. Finally, I have a friend who is working on a book project and needs your help.  Pastor Paul is writing a book entitled, Building a Platform of Honor, and would like to hear from you in a two or three sentence summary of what you do to honor God in your daily life.  You can write Pastor Paul directly or post your comments to this entry.

I have some more things stored up that I want to write, but for now, I'll sign off and put them in another entry. 

Creative Process

I have been writing about creativity in my most recent Monday Memos. Diana, my writing editor, mentor, and encourager, who also happens to be my sister-in-law, wrote a great piece in her blog today about writing and creativity. Here is some of what she wrote:

If you want to write something that's going to last a long time (and who doesn't?), you have to be prepared for a lot of work. A lot more than you're thinking about right now. You will get up early. You will go to bed late. You will miss TV shows. You will hibernate from your friends and family. You will offend some of them. You will devote time to learning what you don't know.

You will think you are going crazy.

You can read the rest of her post here.

This may not seem like an encouragement, but it is. Writing (and creativity) isn't part of the heavenly Jerusalem; it doesn't just descend from on high. You have to work to make it happen, but the work is exhilarating and rewarding. What's more, you then have the opportunity to impact thousands of people, some of whom you will never meet, but who will bless you from afar.

Diana's blog also has some great material to help you with every step of the writing/creative process. I urge you to let her experience and insights help you through the sometimes hard but always energizing world of expressing your own creativity.

Permission Marketing 2

A few days ago, I wrote about something called Permission Marketing. This is a concept that emphasizes building marketing relationships with those who want one as opposed to trying to capture those who don't. If you are like me, you get a lot of unwanted mass emails, which are called spam. The concept of spam is the opposite of permission marketing, for spam sends out thousands or even millions of unwanted and unsolicited emails in the hopes of catching people unaware, uninitiated, ignorant or snoozing. If you are like me, you delete spam, block it from even coming through or report it to the authorities, since it is actually illegal.

Why don't more companies and churches employ permission marketing? There are many reasons. One is that they are stuck in the thinking of old marketing techniques. If we can just get our billboard where more people drive, the reasoning goes, or if we can write better copy or ads, then more people will buy our product, employ our service or come to our church. That may have worked where there was a mass audience and few voices, but in today's world, it doesn't work anymore.

I think I can find another reason, a biblical reason, that the old marketing doesn't work -- because we aren't very good listeners, whether in business or the church.

James wrote two thousand years ago,

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires (James 1:19).

Being a poor listener is bad for business, whether the business is a church or a company. Yet, we believe if we can just talk to people and get them to hear what we have to say, everything will work out and we will succeed. Actually the opposite is true: If we learn to listen to others and then shape our messages, products and services according to what they want or need, we will succeed. Don't spend time trying to convince people that they need what you have. Spend time developing what they need and they will beat a path to your door.

I worked with a church one time who bought into an elaborate and expensive advertising campaign, complete with TV spots, bulletin inserts and newspaper advertisements. The program was a colossal failure and they asked me to look at it and tell me what I thought they were doing wrong. I couldn't see anything; it was slick and well done. Then I asked, "Is there anything you do that brings visitors, the visitors that you are trying to get through this ad campaign?" Without hesitation, they answered, "Sure!" I asked what it was and they responded, "Whenever we serve food, we get a great response!"

So I asked, "Why don't you serve food?" They said, "Because people would only come for the food!" I came back, "Well, what's the difference if they come for food or as a result of an ad?" What's more, when we did the math, we found that feeding people every week for a year would cost half what the ad campaign did, and get twice the results. The church, however, wanted to "dominate" the process. They wanted to control what people received (food versus advertising) and they were angry that the ad campaign didn't work and the food did. They were so angry that they refused to feed people, even though they had the money, the cooks and the space.

Companies do the same thing. They want to tell me what I need and not respond to my customer service needs or complaints. Then they get "testy" when I don't respond to their unsolicited interruptions for this or that.

Someone once said that we have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we talk. What is your ratio? Someone else said if you are facilitating a meeting and talk more than 25% of the time, you aren't facilitating; you are preaching. If you lead meetings, what percent is spent in people listening to you as opposed to you listening to them?

I am convinced that the principles and "rules" behind permission marketing are critical to success in the 21st century, no matter what business you are in. As stated in my previous post, permission marketing takes time and doesn't happen quickly. Yet if you listen and produce something extraordinary, people will want to hear what you have to say. In today's crowded world of conflicting messages, that is worth its weight in gold.